You don't know what it feels like

You don't know what it feels like. You don't have the history of disappointment, tears, sadness, and embarassment I have had. You can't relate and I don't expect you to; afterall, its my life. It's mine and I have and will deal with it one step at a time. I don't want your rationalizations, longwindedness or critiques, I want your understanding and emphathy. Is my selfishness in this situation such a crime? Can I lay claim to the time I have put into it beyond listening ears? The tears,the fears, the frustrating years? If you've never carried the burden of third party disappointment in the EXACT same way, I don't expect you to be able to relate. Not today.

Charge it to my heart and not to my head. For if it were my head I would think more and feel less. I wouldn't be emotionally wrapped up in this mess. But out of my heart comes the issues of my soul. And out of this situation comes issues of old. I'm tired and I want to give up, but I cant ignore the ties that bind. So my apologies if my approach you don't find/necessarily appealing...revealing who I really am or what I really believe. Its me.